Look closely at this photo.
The chin region, specifically.
Can’t see anything?
Doesn’t matter, I am feeling enough for both of us to be able to see it because there is a WHOPPING great shiner on my chin. It feels like the size of a 5c piece, and might well be. As it’s a blind pimple, I can’t see it’s head yet, but oh, it’s coming. The fact that my whole chin is pulsing with pain guarantees it. Why it’s pulsing, for the record, is because it’s so deep, right down near my nerves. Regular, 20/20 vision pimples are up close to the top layer of skin, God bless them. So thoughtful.
In the interest of it not ruining my face for the next 10 days, and especially for the wedding I am attending this weekend, here’s how I will be dealing with this bastard. The technique works, which is the good news provided I DO NOT pick at it, which I won’t. The bad news is that I have been known to pick at it.
While it’s just a painful, red, half-bump ice it and reduce the swelling
This is crucial, this bit. If you play this right, it might not Vesuvius all over your face. So: take an ice cube, and wrap in a tissue. Hold it on the spot for five minutes on, 10 minutes off. Do this at least three times in a row if you can. Drink lots of water.
When it starts to show a head, you need to carefully, gently get The Monster up to the surface
After a shower (the steam assists greatly in the drawing-out process), take a clean face cloth or a thick cotton pad and dip it into a sink of as-hot-as-your-skin-can-handle, water. Hold this compress, while swearing and kicking the toilet, for as long as possible. Re-dip in the water when it cools down. Do this for at least five minutes.
Now apply a drawing paste, a thick goo usually comprised of things like clay, sulfur and zinc oxide, to the head of the pimple with a cotton tip, and go to bed so it can do it’s work. and you will have either a very obvious whitehead in the morning, (or as sometimes magically happens, just a some faint redness, because it’s matured the whitehead so fully that it’s completely gone.)
I have been a tremendous fan of the famous and fantastic Payot Pate Grise for many years, and my beloved pimple drying lotion by Mario Badescu also works (although the skin will lightly flake due to the benzy peroxide). Magnoplasm, a hardcore drawing agent for boils, splinters and blind pimples is also excellent, albeit stinky and gross to use.
When the whitehead is right at the surface, it’s time to carefully extract
If things are still red and tender, or shiny and taut, no touchy touchy. It’s not ready. Conceal it and repeat the drawing process that night/as soon as it’s viable.
If the whitehead is more evident than redness, and it’s trying to jump out of your skin, you’re ready, sugar.
Do the hot water compress biz from above for a couple of minutes, then wrap half a tissue around each of your index fingers. Put a finger each side of the whitehead, then carefully, very gently, with NO NAILS DIGGING IN, push down on the sides, then kind of roll your fingers upwards to encourage the head to pop out. The idea is to get down deep on the sides, and push the very bottom of the whitehead up and out. Do the same motion from a few different spots to share the pressure (and fun!) around.
You should see no blood. There shouldn’t even be indentations where you’ve been pushing: it has to all be very gentle.
Finishing up and preventing scarring…
This bit is important, you guys. Once you’ve popped it’s all open to bacteria, so be sure to lock that shit well out.
First, apply a bit of pressure on the spot, to stop any potential bleeding or swelling and redness. Then wipe on some purifying lotion with a cotton ball or pad. I love Gernetic’s Sebo-Ger, or Garnier’s Pure Active Daily Pore Purifying Toner.
Now leave it the hell alone for a couple of hours. It needs to heal and breathe. So no makeup, nothing. (Extractions are always best done at night, or a few hours before you need to go out.) Once the area is flaking a bit, and dry, use some paw paw ointment or some such natural emollient on the area to encourage healing and scar reduction.
If you follow these steps, you can successfully wallop a blind pimple without all the mess that usually accompanies them.
If I follow these steps, I get all of that and a Snickers Ice Cream bar as a special reward.